Tales of the Parodyverse

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AJA
Wed Apr 05, 2006 at 02:17:20 pm EDT
Subject
The story "They" don't want you to see.
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"What kind of stupid title is that?" said the disembodied voice of Grover Clevland, the 22nd & 24th President of the United States.

"It's a great title. It's make people want to read this little thing I wrote. Don't worry, be happy now." AJA, the poster that be who writes this loosly collected, genre ruining, Deus Ex Machina filled stories that you are reading right now.

AJA was sitting in his Film Noir like Office. Outside his many office windows was the blank emptiness of space. Well, it wasn't completely empty since there were stars & junk out there but that's about it.

"No, it won't." the voice of the dead former lawyer from Buffalo.

"Sure it will. There is this guy who has this infomercial which sell books about natrual cures & his book's title has the 'They don't want you to know' phrase in it & he's sold millions of his book!"

"Ok. I'll concide on that. But, I won't conciede on private pennsions for Civil War vetrans!"

"Ok." AJA said not really know what the heck the voice of the long dead president was talking about.

Just then Maurice, the fabled winged cabbage of legend, flew into the room.

"AJA, I have excellent news!"

"Jessica Alba argeed to be my girlfriend?" AJA said with some glee.

"No. She said not in a million years & plus, she's already has a boyfriend. I think his name is Cash something."

"Well, Boyfriends can be killed & I can change my name. How does Dollar Bill sound?"

"Fine. But what about Quarters?" The voice of former mayor of New York City & former Governor of New York state said.

"QuartersJA. Hmm... sounds odd." AJA mused.

Maurice trying to get his boss back on track. "I was going to tell you some great news remember?"

"Oh, yes. What was it?" AJA asked.

Just then in Deus Ex Machina fashion, Maurice was shot & fell out the sky. The shooter then walked into the room.

"Andrew!" the gruff, sounding early Clint Eastwood meets Gladiator era Russel Crowe looking gentlemen said.

"Andrew isn't here right now." AJA, who is his none Poster That Be life his name is actually Andrew, said. "But, I'm AJA. Can I take a message?"

The Man, who just shot one of the few reacuring charactrers I have, looked at the Wanted poster he had in his hand. He then looked up & said "You are Andrew." Then, he pointed his Quad-Barrelled Futuristic/Old West Shootgun.

"No. I've made this quite clear. When I'm wearing this toga, I'm AJA. When I'm not then I'm Andrew, Andy, etc." AJA said. He was in fact wearing a toga. Why? All Cosmic type beings do: The Watcher, The Monitor, The Jesus, The Shatner.

"I don't care. Your still Andrew not matter what."

"Fine. Don't pay attention to the rules. I'll just get a Moderator in here & they'll band you from the Messageboard. So, there!" AJA said & then stuck out his tongue.

"What the heck are you talking about?" The grungey looking desperando said.

"I'm sorry for going all Meta-Textual on you but Them's the rules. You break 'em, you bought your one way ticket out here."

"I think your lying. My Boss said you may try something like this. So, quit stalling & out the window, please." The man said.

"What about me?" the voice of Grover Cleveland said.

"I have no use for you." The man said & pushed Andrew/AJA out an open window.

AJA fell flat on his face on to a floating Viking ship just outside. Once he got up, he said. "You don't believe there we're all some sort of meta-texual fantasy on a messagebaord somewhere in the Internet & yet you have a floating Viking Ship?"

"This is different." he barked.

"oh. Right. A floating Viking ship makes all the difference in the world." AJA said sarcasticlly.

The Deperando groaned as the Viking ship pulled it's self away from the the Office & rowed all by it's self out into space, the final frontier.

"Where are we going?"

"To Funkytown to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Coz." The gruff desperando said.

"Great." AJA said waiting for what happens next.

Well, you'll have wait too!

Who is the Wonderful Wizard of Coz? Is Maurice Dead? Where the frick are Arnie & Snookie? Would anyone let me to finish this story? Answers to those questions later.


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